The Unflinching Direction of Dispair

You know, when things look their darkest and the last vestige of hope is fading over the horizon, we sometimes settle on the thoughts that we let slip by without the realization they should have enjoyed at the time. Such is the vain attempts for stability when all else begins to fail us. For me, such thoughts focused on a moment now just a mere three years ago. A moment locked in the unchanging time of my memory. Oh if only I could go back to this moment and pull myself aside to counsel myself about what my future will hold... Just such a conversation would have spared me of this time. Had I known... Had I known then, such a time as I now face would not have happened. Where is that mythical time machine now?? Why do I not see that ugly blue police box materializing?

Life is Changing and I am Back

I have restarted this post several times now. Each time it just doesn't seem to come out right. Personally, I am not sure it will ever come out right. I just don't know that I can describe this event well enough to make it understandable.

As you may have noticed, my blog disappeared for a couple weeks. Yes, it was intentional and not by accident. I am not sure I can ever find the words or will to say why. I can say that something so drastic and so cataclysmic happened in the early days of this month that I was completely blown away. I should have expected it and should have been on guard for it. But I wasn't. The situation has been so devastating that I still struggle to take it in and try to deal with the aftermath.

Let's just say that life as I once knew it is no more. Never again can I walk around happily going about life and feeling secure in my path. Ever more will I wonder and wander.

I can say that I am back, fragmented as I am. And I have a whole new perspective of what life is. So if you will bear with me, I most certainly will chronicle differently than I used to.