Inevitable Ends: Alameda California

There is a saying that I wish to quote. While I have no idea who said this pearl of wisdom, it seems to best describe the world that I have encountered as of late. "Time stands still for no man." We watch our joys of life be born, live and then die. Try as we might, fight with all our might; we cannot prevent the inevitable end to everything we cherish.

Case in Point...

Over the last several years I have watched, through satelite photos, places I once roamed be squashed. leveled and swept away to make room for the new. I should have realized it would not just be places in my life that would under go this destruction. but promises and love as well. You see as I was looking at the fall of these icons of my existance, insideous forces were  already invading my life unseen. Doing to my most cherished parts of my life, what these photos show of these places.

Now lets take a small bubble of paradise. Navy Housing Complex in Alameda California. A place of fond memories, spacious, inviting and decent. Then one day the picture changes. Suddenly the photos show a baren land as if a giant had swept away everything. All Destroyed. All Gone. Then the next photo showing new. New crowded, worthless townhouses. The once spacious wide openess sacrificed. Such is the inevitable end of Alameda.

Navy housing as it once was with its parks and scenery.

Beautiful landscape of parks and houses brushed away as if insignificant.

Finally a crowded blight to plague a once serene place.

And so we see an epitaph of my existence. In places,  people and commitments. Destruction of the good and creation of the bad; all in the name of progress. Behold our progress. The miraculousness stupidity of mankind.

Inevitable Ends

It has been quite some time since I last updated this blog. Since June of 2010, I have been otherwise distracted. I have seen shock, despair, desperation, depression, anger, loss and hopelessness. All in a period of a matter of months.

Once long held beliefs were shattered with resounding consequences. Since June 7, 6:28m, 2010; my life has been changed forever more. Never again shall I have the hope for the future or trust for anyone. Never again will the once lasting smile cross my lips with optimism. My faith has been tested and lost.

Whereas once I walked with the people looking toward a good future, I now walk among them tarnished by reality. A lost soul just waiting for my time to end.

Since 2000 I have heralded a blog somewhere. Always to be active and always to reach for the golden ring. I had faced much, battled much and always came away sure there would be a better day to come. But this last June one person was able to topple all that and toss me into an abyss. When I finally climbed out scarred, hurt, in shock, the world is no longer colorful and inviting. I now see it for the gray and dark place it is. it surprises me that one person could not only bring this blog to a standstill, but strip away so much of me as well.  How did I ever let one person so near that they could destroy so much with such relative ease?

The Unflinching Direction of Dispair

You know, when things look their darkest and the last vestige of hope is fading over the horizon, we sometimes settle on the thoughts that we let slip by without the realization they should have enjoyed at the time. Such is the vain attempts for stability when all else begins to fail us. For me, such thoughts focused on a moment now just a mere three years ago. A moment locked in the unchanging time of my memory. Oh if only I could go back to this moment and pull myself aside to counsel myself about what my future will hold... Just such a conversation would have spared me of this time. Had I known... Had I known then, such a time as I now face would not have happened. Where is that mythical time machine now?? Why do I not see that ugly blue police box materializing?

Life is Changing and I am Back

I have restarted this post several times now. Each time it just doesn't seem to come out right. Personally, I am not sure it will ever come out right. I just don't know that I can describe this event well enough to make it understandable.

As you may have noticed, my blog disappeared for a couple weeks. Yes, it was intentional and not by accident. I am not sure I can ever find the words or will to say why. I can say that something so drastic and so cataclysmic happened in the early days of this month that I was completely blown away. I should have expected it and should have been on guard for it. But I wasn't. The situation has been so devastating that I still struggle to take it in and try to deal with the aftermath.

Let's just say that life as I once knew it is no more. Never again can I walk around happily going about life and feeling secure in my path. Ever more will I wonder and wander.

I can say that I am back, fragmented as I am. And I have a whole new perspective of what life is. So if you will bear with me, I most certainly will chronicle differently than I used to.